JOKE OF THE WEEK
Enjoy!

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums.
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget


Enjoy

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Welcome to the Crazy Club!

The club for those who have either:
a) lost it
b) are thoroughly bored
c) are unusual
d) want a good laugh

want to know how to join?? click here to find out how to

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Hello, craziest Deviants!!!

here's a little stamp-like thing for you; you deserve it. Thanks for helping spread craziness to the whole wide world!!

[link]

take yours!

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May 08 - Twisted Or Humorous Nursery Rhymes!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
the mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one
and the other one got away with minor injuries
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
had scrambled egg for breakfast again
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Jack and Jill went up the hill
to get some hanky panky
but little Jill forgot her pill
and now there's little franky
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Hey diddle diddle, the cat took a piddle
all over the bedroom clock
the little dog laughed to see such fun
then died of an electric shock
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Mary had a little lamb
she fed it caster oil
and everywhere that Mary went
It fertilized the soil
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My Bonnie Leaned over the gas tank
the height of its contents to see
he lighted a match to assist him
Oh bring back my bonnie to me
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Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in the closet
And every time she let it out,
it left a small deposit
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Mary had a little lamb
It's fleece was white and wispy
Silly lamb caught foot and mouth
and now it's black and crispy
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Mary Had a little lamb
the doctor nearly cried
then old McDonald had a farm
the doctor nearly died
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Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
a thousand volts went up it's ar$e
and turned it's wool to nylon
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Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two hunks of bread.
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Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a quarter
Jill came down with 50 cents.
Did they really go for water?
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Jack and Jill went up the hill
To get a roll of cheese
Jack came down with a smile on his face
And his trousers round his knees
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Jack be nimble Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candle stick
Jack wasn't so nimble and wasn't so quick
Poor little Jack Burnt his dck.
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Next months journal will be on : Crazy Stunts

Please send in a note with the subject Journal June 08, and your crazy stunt story included. or else send us some funny stunts you've come across elsewhere by note!

Notes have to be in by 30th May by the latest!

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At first, we hope you all are enjoying your time in dA's no.1 virtual padded cell!! ...but what about changing the style a little?? Well, the fact is, that we're facing an enormous problem here. You know, building an all-inclusive padded cell is really expensive. So we're totally broke right now that's why we've made the following decision: the Cellmate (= club member ) who donates us a subscription will get an extra feature!! It would be greatly appreciated.

If you have some funny stuff you want to share with us, feel free to send your submission in a note! Also, if you know some funny videos (or if you have any self-made funny video) that you'd like to share with us, send us a note with a brief description of the video, and the link to the page where the video is stored, so we can feature it as the Video of the week.

Have a nice day, and stay !

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Have you got any crazy stories, or funny pictures you want to submit with us to share with everyone else? - either using your name or anonymously? Send us a note with the subject of Submission and the thumbnail or link to the page where the submission is stored. All work we submit under your name will contain a link back to the original work unless you want to remain anonymous.


Thanks
and enjoy being

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